Self to Self: You Have No Right, Saying That To Me!!!

After the suicide of a friend of mine several months ago, a mutual friend and blogger wrote a brilliant piece, warning the world against a self-lacerating inner voice.

On that very relevant topic, this quote below comes from another writer, who goes only by Ally online.  She writes for Yogis Anonymous:

“There is no escape from your inner voice. It’s impact upon your life and your outlook is greater than anything else you’ll encounter. Your body is your home, and your inner voice is your constant companion, or your loudest critic.”

She writes here of mentally healthy people, and in her words we find a calling. How you treat yourself matters. It’s relevant, how you think to yourself about yourself.

I believe a self-lacerating tongue is largely why so many crawl into a bottle or some other dead-end, familiar despair.

In my business, we report on many lives coming apart, and I believe it happens often because they can’t get out of their own way.  Doubtless, living within many of the people who make the worst kind of news, there’s long been a loud critic with a sharp tongue, yelling or whispering they’re unworthy of all love and goodness, God’s and otherwise.

It’s a lie, and they believe it.

How you think to yourself eventually comes out. It emerges in how you talk to others, see others, treat those you love, those who might otherwise grow to love you.  How you think to yourself matters!  It becomes you.

As the writer, Ally, reminds us, there’s a scared kid walking around in everybody. The most put together, confident, successful of us have this kid within. The kid wants joy, fun, meaning, goodness, protection, daring, love. Give these.  Give generously.

Yes, gift these to your inner child, expecting much joy in return.  Don’t let your inner clatter put that kid down. 

And if there’s some easy-to-recognize pro-wrestler Yeti voice — or even a whispering, nattering little nanny-critic —  in your mind’s house, write an eviction notice.  Throw that self-talk  the #$%^ out!!

Impossible?  You say there’s no escape?  I say otherwise.

Charles Duhigg, in a great book, The Power of Habit, Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, writes of our ability to change what we do, how we think.   His fine book drills into the science of this, and the science is good.   It reveals that habit formation is seeded by inner thought, of the kind that becomes outward action. What we think to ourselves is a breakable habit.  Breaking it will show not just in the inner words we say to ourselves.  It’s bound to show in what we do.  To read Duhigg is to live in the science.

But here, let’s think of it as art.  Your self thought is a document, a work of literature, and you read off it to yourself, moment by moment.    Don’t like what it says?  Compose anew.  Change it.  Erase!!  It’s yours to write.  Re-write what you think of yourself, to yourself. 

In doing so, your habit will change.  You will speak well to, and of, the child in there, waiting, all ears.


3 Responses to “Self to Self: You Have No Right, Saying That To Me!!!”

  1. Gina Robinson Says:



  2. Michael, As I have been walking the path of transition within my life for some time now, I get closer and closer to learning who I am and loving who I am. The current book I was guided to study is “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer. This evening I took a break and sat in Starbucks with a cup of java and read another chapter.
    The subject and ideas seem to be a theme tonight. Just before reading your post, and read that of another blogger, Jeremiah with today’s title “Letting Go and Letting In”

  3. As I read this post with haunting scars up my arms to remind me of my own “lacerating tongue” and self destructive coping mechanisms…I remember the tapes that sometimes still find their way back into my head… my alcoholic father’s damaging words ringing into infinity… I sit in a much different place today than even just a few years ago. A place that holds me higher and pushes me towards the future despite the dark and spiraling depths of my childhood. Through years of therapy and support I found my way back to myself and have learned that those tapes are merely lies sent here from Satan’s sweltering hell. What once was meant to destroy me has made me STRONG.

    I let those demon whiskey inspired tapes lead me around for too long and the words of my father became my own. I used his “lacerating tongue” as my own. I beat myself up for things that were never my fault and punished myself with the slicing of my flesh… sometimes to feel the burn and numb out the pain…. sometimes to feel anything at all to make sure I was still alive.

    Through lots of therapy and work I slowly began to erase the tapes my father planted deep into my soul and record new ones. Every time his words invaded my head I simply shut them down with positive affirmations of myself. My internal children tearing each other limb to limb until all that was left was the strong, intelligent, kind, loving, compassionate, creative, zesty little girl that was meant for the world to see. Daddy’s pawn no longer… but a strong confident healthy woman.

    I reveal these things of myself because I know that someone will read this and find their own reflection staring back a little fuzzy around the edges… noticeable and familiar yet somehow still foreign and I can only hope that those people see there is light and love and beauty all around and healing comes from within.

    I say, never believe that you are anything less than beautiful. A straight gift from the divine universe and meant to be more than you can ever imagine. Don’t let anyone use their tongue as a weapon against you… and don’t you dare believe your own bad words and thoughts against yourself! Just as you learned to hear the negative you can choose the positive. You are the maker of your journey… you are the master of your fate… walk in love and light, forgiveness and humility…use the same strength that has always pushed you through to keep you stable… and no matter what write/rewrite and record your own (mental/emotional) tapes!

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