Become An Arrow, Not a Target

The 911 call tore at my soul.

The voices lacerate with anguish, desperation.  They cut into my male heart.  As I write this, the echo of their outcry nearly makes me ashamed to belong to the gender that keeps raising its hand against women and children.

I watch these words going down, having just heard a recording of a 911 call that sprang from domestic violence that took lives — one a child — and caused lasting trauma.  Having covered the story as a journalist and having survived well-hidden household violence as a child, I am immutable on the message I hope you share from this piece of outrage.

This reminder comes full-throated, with masculine passion.  I offer it with all hope that saying what I shout out below will save a childhood heart from dread and at least one life from being taken in the fractured sanctuary of a home whose sanctity is broken by violence.

If you’re in a relationship that even hints at abuse, go! Run! Flee it, without even a glance back!

Seek the help of a shelter or other organization that helps shepherd people out of domestic violence.  They’re out there, and they work.  Take the solace of them and the people who run them.  Those people are heroes who will beautifully alter the course of your life!

Let no one talk you into “hanging in there.” Allow no sentimentality or guilt or someone’s self-righteous optics of your failure or sinfulness lure you back. Give, instead, yourself a re-birth.  Show the courage and faith to squeeze yourself anew into the world, toward a relationship that gives you rest in acceptance, the comfort of a nurturing love, a spirit of “I’ve-got-your-back.”

People who criticize you, judge you, control and surveil you, people who raise a hand or word of violence against you are enabled in this destructive behavior if you stay and remain a target. Be no one’s target. Be, instead, a sovereign, faithful legacy in motion. An arrow, born into upward flight.  Fulfill the highest order of humanity to land upon the world as a weapon of love, serving it and your legacy well.  Be this projectile of grace and goodness and peace,  not the punching bag of a damaged soul.

I define Eros love as two people passionately longing for one another as they lovingly long for the best for one another.  Overly simple?  I don’t believe so.  Life’s complicated enough.  Let’s not complicate love.  Let’s not use it as a dynamic that helps one take fury out on another.  Let us never enable or prop up the idea that we’re born to fix one another and call that love.  Fixing is not love.  It’s surely not faith — or faithfulness — either. Please, do NOT stay and try to fix it — or him or her — if you’re living in fear. Don’t allow yourself or your children to become the targets of fury or tyranny or control.

To do so is to live in the constant threat of becoming content of a 911 call, dialed when it’s much too late.



3 Responses to “Become An Arrow, Not a Target”

  1. heartwritten Says:

    Such a tragedy. Thank you for spreading the awareness of domestic abuse, Michael. I am sharing your post to, hopefully, get the word out to those who may not be aware. God bless you.

  2. Share knowledge and help to stop domestic violence today!

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